Video games are not making men miserable

August 27, 2026 - 20:54

A recent wave of commentary has tried to pin the so-called "male misery epidemic" on video games, lumping them together with pornography and gambling as digital vices rotting the modern man. But that comparison is lazy, and frankly, it misses the point entirely. One of these things is not like the others, and it is time to stop pretending otherwise.

Pornography and gambling are designed to exploit dopamine loops with no real-world payoff. They are passive, isolating, and often financially or psychologically destructive. Video games, on the other hand, are active. They require problem-solving, coordination, and often social interaction. A raid in an online game with friends is closer to a pickup basketball game than it is to a slot machine. The difference is agency. Games give you a challenge, a goal, and a sense of mastery. They do not just take from you; they give back in the form of skills, stories, and shared experiences.

The real issue is not the medium but the context. A man who games for four hours after a full day of work, sees his friends online, and feels a sense of accomplishment is not the same as a man who spends four hours scrolling through feeds or chasing a jackpot. The former is a hobby, the latter is a coping mechanism for a deeper problem. Blaming the controller for the loneliness is like blaming the gym for a broken leg. It is a distraction from the actual causes: lack of community, weak social infrastructure, and a culture that tells men their value is only in their productivity.

So before we write another think piece about how "the boys are lost," let us look at what actually connects them. It is not the pixels. It is the people they play with. And that is a good thing, not a symptom of decline.